A Conversation with Mama Fierce on the Eve of St. Patrick's Day

Act I, Scene I
Scene: C Fierce's car // Mama Fierce's kitchen

MAMA FIERCE: Hi honey. Did you fill out your bracket yet? Your dad is logging me in right now.
C FIERCE: I'm heading home from work, I'm making Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes for the office tomorrow.
MAMA FIERCE: Oh I LOVE car bombs!
C FIERCE: You do? Do you even know what a car bomb is?
MAMA FIERCE: Of course I do. It's that drink, what is it, a train station. A sidecar! I love those!
C FIERCE: No, those are not the same thing - and besides, a train station isn't even a drink. You made that up.
MAMA FIERCE: It has car in it, it's the same thing.
C FIERCE: No, it isn't. A car bomb has Guinness in it --
MAMA FIERCE: Oh that's that beer I don't like, the gross one, right?
C FIERCE: -- Yes, you hate Guinness -- and then you put a shot of Jameson in it --
MAMA FIERCE: That's whiskey? Oh my. This is not like a train station at all.
C FIERCE: -- It's not a train station, it's a sidecar, and anyway, you have the Guinness, and the Jameson, and then you fill up a shot glass with Bailey's and --
MAMA FIERCE: OH I like Bailey's, that is delicious! Only one out of three, this isn't going well for me, is it.
C FIERCE: No, it isn't. So you have the Guinness, the Jameson, the Bailey's, and then you have to drink it before it curdles --
MAMA FIERCE: Oh that's disgusting.
C FIERCE: Well yes, you have about 12 seconds before it curdles so you drink two shots and a beer in that amount of time.
MAMA FIERCE: Who thinks of these things? HONEY -- [offstage] -- have you heard of this thing called an IRISH CAR BOMB? Do you know what GOES INTO ONE OF THESE THINGS?
C FIERCE: [pause] [pause] [pause]
MAMA FIERCE: Your father says "an Irish car bomb is a beer, with a whiskey, plus an apertif." Is that right?
C FIERCE: Well, he's on the right track, yes.
MAMA FIERCE: I don't know where you learned all this drinking from, certainly not at my elbow!
C FIERCE: I have no idea, but I'm not drinking them tonight, I'm making cupcakes with those ingredients.
MAMA FIERCE: Well that's a relief. I'm having a nice glass of white wine, a pinot grigio, from the Wall Street Journal Wine Club.
C FIERCE: That sounds nice.
MAMA FIERCE: Did you drink all that champagne I got you for Christmas already?
C FIERCE: It's March, of course I did.
MAMA FIERCE: Well that's good. Bethanne asked me if I'd had prosecco the other day and I told her of course I knew what that was. I don't know where you learn these things.
C FIERCE: Mom I have to go now, I am recording this conversation for posterity.
MAMA FIERCE: Oh I bet your phone has one of those fancy APPS for that.
C FIERCE: Enjoy your wine, Mama Fierce.
MAMA FIERCE: And not a train station in sight!

* * * En fin. * * *

Here are some other green things to eat.  Look! Green things to eat on St Patty's Day! These are naturally green, to boot, and not a pint of beer with green food coloring in it. Weird.

Spinach mascarpone dip
Pistachios and apricots
More pistachios: pistachio praline bars
Even more: pistachio tart cherry ice cream
Spinach round two: spinach salad

Happy St Patty's Day to all our readers. Are you doing anything special today? Other than making up imaginary cocktails? What goes in a train station, anyway?