The Holy Christmas Chicken Wings

Ah, Christmas.  A time for family and friends to gather together.  A time for "crabbies" (as in FOOD, as in CRAB, get your mind out of the gutter).  A time for antipasti platters piled so high they nearly fall over, a time for the Holy Christmas Chicken Wings, mussels and lobster.  A time for salt-crusted beef tenderloin and absurdly cheesily delicious scalloped potatoes, a time for pumpkin pie and apple fig crostada with HAND-WHIPPED whipped cream.  And loads and loads of drinks.

What, that's not what you typically eat at Christmas? KFTF* and I celebrated with his Restaurant Family - when you manage an Irish pub it's not as if you just get to take vacation willy nilly, now can you?  The people, they need their pints!  We also celebrated a birthday this Christmas - I mean, an actual living person's birthday, not just that of Jebus.  Oh that is going to get me into trouble (sorry, Mama Fierce), but really, it was a friend's birthday.  

Anyway, The Restaurant Family, as restaurant families are wont to do, split up cooking duties.  KFTF, who happens to be quite the chef himself, took on the Holy Christmas Chicken Wings and the salt-crusted beef tenderloin, along with a trio of sauces, at which point I was too stuffed with lobster to actually photograph ... oops.  Just to tease you: a roasted red pepper tomato reduction, a horseradish sour cream sauce and a red wine mushroom reduction.  Yes, the man CAN cook.  There are no recipes for the sauces because he "doesn't USE recipes, that's for BAKERS" which is a total lie because where did you just come up with the Holy Christmas Chicken Wings in a dream?  No, it was Holy Alton Brown, thankyouverymuch.  


Check out the step-by-steps (look at me, I'm like ... Pioneer Woman ... except ... not).
Get out your stovetop smoker and pour an inch or so of water in the pan, let it come to a boil and then put your thawed-and-dried-off chicken wings on the tray.  Steam, covered, for 30 minutes.   You can use a steamer basket, like Alton Brown suggests, but we did this a few times and it was really hard to keep the wings from sticking together.  Voila, the stovetop smoker!  (Check out some of the fat already in the pan, yum, right? Sike - that's what you aren't eating - so these are totally healthy!)

Next, put the steamed wings on a plate or tray. Cover them with paper towels to remove excess moisture.  Put the tray in the fridge for at least an hour.  Trust me, it is worth waiting.  And while you are waiting I'm sure you can find something else to do or eat.  Preheat the oven to 425 F.
After the wings have gotten nice and chilled in the fridge, take them out.  Blot off the remaining excess moisture with paper towels.  Put the wings directly on baking sheets - make sure they don't touch.  It's important to note that you do not need to use foil - you don't even need to grease the pans.  The chicken skin will stick to the foil, and everyone knows that is the best part of wings.  FRIED CHICKEN SKIN.

Roast the wings for about 20 minutes.  Make up your favorite bbq sauce (we use a combination of hot sauce, Sriracha, garlic, honey, more hot sauce, and then a little dash of hot sauce to top it off) and get that nice and warm on the stove.  Brush the wings generously, then pop them back in the oven to finish them off for about 15-20 more minutes.

And then, when you think you just can't take it anymore, because those wings smell so darn good (stop peeking in the oven!), take them out.  Brush them with a little more sauce, put 'em on a nice pretty plate and devour. 

Here's the original Alton Brown recipe (why yes, someone DID purchase the 27 DVD set while someone else was out of town! Hm, I wonder who that could be).  Feel free to adjust to your tastes - if I am coming over for dinner, though, you better have some blue cheese dressing on hand if you know what's good for you. 


I am not even going to go into the Saga of The Tenderloin because who gives up all their good material at once?  Let's just say that it involved a 24-hour dough, a last minute request for flour -- thanks, Birthday Boy and Wife's neighbors! You were totally freaked out when I knocked on your door at ten pm on Christmas needing flour, because doesn't that only happen on tv?  But really, thanks for the flour because without it we might not have even been able to get The Tenderloin into the oven and at that point we wouldn't have even noticed that the oven was actually off for half of the baking time but HEY.  It was amazing, and you should totally try it.  (Just ... be a little more ... together? Be more sober.  Yes, that's it, just be more sober.  Probably fully 100% sober would be best.)
Stay tuned this week for some Dispatches from The Road - watch out, Los Angeles, C Fierce and Grandma Fierce will be invading along with another trillion Buckeye fans.  Follow me on Twitter to read all the crazy things Grandma Fierce says - www.twitter.com/fierce_pierce - as well as Things I Eat On Vacation.  


*KFTF = K&#@ From The Future = The Poor Man Who Lives In My Apartment and Puts Up With My Shenanigans.  There's a long story behind this name, one that has no time nor place on this blog.

Wherein C Fierce is Shamed Into A Non-Photo Post.

Ladies and germs, I hope you've been enjoying the bloggy stylings of J Fierce as we figure out "how this blogging thing works."  As with much of our projects, we tend to dive in head-first and then realize we forgot our noseplugs.  (KIDDING we were never that lame to use NOSEPLUGS, are you serious?  Only weirdos used noseplugs at the pool, and the Sisters Fierce were waaaay too cool for that during our heady youthful days at the Olympic Swim & Racquet Club.  Yes, they spelled racket like that.  What can I say, we led a charmed childhood.  BUT!  I digest!  Back to the blog!)
J Fierce, due to her non-nine-to-five schedule, has been shaming me to no end that I have yet to post a "baking post."  I know, I know, you have been waiting, breathlessly, for your Google reader to alert you to a new C Fierce posting.  I am eagerly anticipating regaling you, dear Internets, with tales of my baking glories.  However, what is a food blog without food porn photos?  I broke my camera over a year ago, and have decided that it is HIGH TIME to get a new one.  I know, a year without a camera?  Oops.  The new camera arrives today (thank you, UPS tracking, I love you so much) and I cannot wait to take photos of food and then put them on the internet for you to see.  Until then, I leave you with a list.  I love lists.  Making lists is one of my hobbies and skills.  There is nothing better than crossing something off a list.  What a sense of accomplishment, of purpose.  To list is divine.  Without further ado!
12 Foods to Tackle in 2010 
1. Carrot juice.  I don't own a juicer nor do I have plans to purchase one as those badboys are not cheap, but I have recently become obsessed with carrot juice.  So why not try to make my own?
2. A whole fish all by myself, with the bones and everything, terrifies me to no end.  I don't think I really have to explain how scary this is.
3. Croissants.
4. Bagels.
5. Challah.  CHALLAH BACK Y'ALL.  What, I listen to Matisyahu.  Mazel tov!
6. Handground hamburgers ...
7 & 8. ... with homemade ketchup, mayo, and mustard (this only counts for two items as I have already made mustard before, it just wasn't very good).
9. ... and homemade french fries.  Again ... these have been attempted.  Note to readers: don't use olive oil when frying potatoes, it's just dumb, not that I would know anything about that.
10. ... and brioche buns to accompany numbers six through nine.
11. Swedish kanellbullar, which are a lot like cinnamon rolls but with cardamom, which is something like $13 a jar and the first time I tried to make these ... let's just say I had to get J Fierce on the line for an hour before we realized the reason that they did.not.rise. was due to the fact that C Fierce is an idiot and bought the wrong yeast.  This all occurred during the excruciating timeframe of December 2007 to January 2009, in which every attempt to make a baked good involving yeast was met with certain disaster.  It's still a little rough for me to talk about.  I am in therapy, yes, thanks for asking, it is free and called This Blog.
12. Real gingerbread cake.  Not that nasty gingerbread house stuff, I'm talking about needing to purchase liters of unsulphured molasses.  I always see this in recipes from "healthy" or "natural" websites and it kind of scares me, but more than that, it excites me.  It sounds like something from a Saudi Arabian oilfield, and I am looking forward to cooking with it.
13. BONUS ITEM!!!  Homemade pasta.  J Fierce has done this before (I am beginning to think she doesn't even HAVE a job, she just goes to grocery stores and wanders around looking for ways to shame me), and I may need to break down a wall or two in my apartment to make my kitchen big enough to make pasta, but goshdarnit I am going to try.  Even if it's just gnocchi. 
So, dear readers, that is my list for the year.  What terrifies you in the kitchen?  What are you tackling in 2010?  Leave us a note in the comments, please!  It will make us feel like we're a Real Blog!
Be on the lookout for details of Christmas feasting yet to come.  Let's just say that the menu is ... rather eclectic this year.  What, you don't have chicken wings on Christmas?  What are you, UNAMERICAN???
Happy eating and I will see you SOON with FOOD PHOTOS GALORE. 
Love,
C Fierce

Introducing J Fierce

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up - behold, the amazing J Fierce!

Why is J Fierce qualified to co-write this blog?  Well, besides the fact that I am her big sister and I TOLD HER TO?

Reason #1: J is really good at Making Things Out of Other Things.  Some people might call this "creativity."  Those people are boring.  As wee young lasses we created Lego neighborhoods and villages in the backyard for our trolls and Barbies (the ones our lovely Brothers Fierce didn't destroy, anyway).  J earned instant street cred in my book when she made "troll food" out of colored pencil shavings.  Hey, it was the early nineties.  Obviously we did not have cable (thanks a lot, Mom and Dad.)

Reason #2: Writing a blog is lot like having a job.  J Fierce has had quite a few jobs since she graduated from college (YES, with a DEGREE, thankyouverymuch).  These occupations have ranged from stained glass artist to ... umm ... foodie extraordinaire.  This most recent position, which she can describe to you in later detail, puts her in the catbird seat to write this blog.  And she really can bake, lemme tell you.

Reason #3: J Fierce pretty much wrote the book on fierce-ness.  (Half the chapters were about me.)  I have seen her threaten to CUT YOU - yes, you - for infringing upon her personal space whilst enjoying a cold beverage.  She meant it, too.  Ask her about the time in high school she tried to beat ME up after I found out she borrowed my favorite Gap tee shirt WITHOUT ASKING.  Yes, she beat me up for something she did.  Totes Fierce.

J Fierce loves what she likes and hates what she doesn't.  The facets to her personality are numerous and sparkling.  Well, some are kind of scary, like when it's before nine in the morning and you accidentally turn on a nightlight twenty feet from her and she growls like a rabid animal and you better shut that light off otherwise she will cut a you-know-what.  Other than those facets, she is like a diamond.

We hope you like our blog - well, shoot, we really don't care if you like it.  WE LIKE IT and we will make you like it, too.  Kisses!

well hello there!

Well HELLO INTERNET!

We are the Sisters Fierce.  Get ready.  Your world will never be the same.

Love,

C & J