How To Have Brunch

What are you doing this weekend? Having me over for brunch, I hope. Get out your champagne mugs glasses!

Brunch is an institution: a special time where drinking in the daytime is not only appropriate, it is encouraged. I adhere to very strict Brunch Club Rules.

1. At least one food item on the table must be made up of at least 50% eggs. 
2. One food item must be 100% bacon.
3. Each beverage consumed must be made up of at least 50% champagne (or other appropriately bubbled alcoholic intoxicant). This is my new favorite method of making a mimosa. You're welcome.

You should put some fruit on the table. It feels healthier this way. Coffee also helps. So does dining Al Fresco, if possible. Al Fresco is not that weird guy who lives around the corner from you; it is a fancy way of saying outdoors. Eating is one of the only outdoor activities I truly enjoy. To reiterate, the bubbly alcohol helps me enjoy outdoor activities. So does the bacon.

A Tale of Two Pizzas

More confession time. I love pizza. Bad pizza is good pizza. My favorite pizzas, though, all share similar traits: thin, crispy, yeasty, crackly, chewy, perfect ... oh, did I mention I'm a bit of a dough/crust fan? Screw the toppings. I want to talk about pizza crust.

Making your own dough is SO EASY. Seriously why are you not doing this? And here is my trick/commandment: make it as far in advance as you want. A week even. All that time in the fridge just lets the yeast work its magic and get all stretchy and delicious. Here are two pizzas, made within one day of each other.

Day One: FLUFFY DOUGH. My nemesis. Still delicious, but still. This tasty but you know it could be better.

Toppings: skirt steak, caramelized garlic and shallots, roasted cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, Mexican crema (have you had this ish? It is like sour cream but TANGIER. This probably deserves an entire post unto itself but that would be kind of gross, just C Fierce, eating a jar of Mexican sour cream. I'll do it, Internet. Don't tempt me.)

What could POSSIBLY be hiding behind the jump? Let's find out!

Rosemary White Bean Spread

We are without a photograph for this post. My apologies, but my trash can is less photogenic than you'd expect.

Maybe you have noticed the trend on here: I do not cook. When I cook it is more like chopping and mixing; side dishes and salads.

I am halfway through an insane summer (like the last one). Meals have been erratic. I haven't baked at all (okay, I baked muffins, but they weren't very good. I'm not pulling a Grandma Fierce and saying that so you'll tell me how awesome they were, they were not good. Dense. Chewy. Not the things you usally associate with delicious muffins). I've been eating tabbouleh, the add 1 cup boiling water, chopped vegetables and fluff before serving! type and fruit salad. And hummus I did not make with crudites I chopped. Really advanced stuff here.

I was really wanting some bruchetta with white bean spread, so I figured I could just soak some beans overnight, puree with oil and garlic and all would be good. Weeeeelll. Apparently on this side of the stove all acids are not equal. What can I say, I'm a baker. I decided that in lieu of lemon juice, which I did not have, not one drop, I could use champagne vinegar.

Let me be frank: if I were David Hasselhoff, I would call it "hofful" (say it aloud...). It smelled like vomit and though I was brave enough to try some with my pinky finger, it went right into the trash.

Lesson Learned. Let someone else cook.